Figure It Out Friday: The Hot Women Edition

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First, there was Maxim’s list. Then, AfterEllen presented its own reader-voted list, which was better but lacked Jane Fonda. That’s when I decided to do my own. Don’t worry; there are only 15. Ranking them was perhaps the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life, except of course #1, which was obvious. It was difficult for me to separate hotness from how much I am just in love with Alex Hedison. What is the definition of “hot,” anyway? Is it just physical beauty? Because Tina Fey’s wit is as hot as her bod, which is smokin’.

Feel free to offer your own picks. You can click on each name for a photo.

15. Courteney Cox Everyone has a favorite Friend, right? Well, Matthew Perry is mine, but I love me some Courteney, too. I like how I’m just a sneeze away from being scared of her. She’s very toned and fierce.

14. Gail O’Grady She’s the only blonde on my list so she must be special. I can’t explain the way I squeal every time I see her name in the guest stars at the beginning of a TV show.

13. Lauren Graham I seriously used to own the very tank top that Lauren is wearing in this photo. The pants, not so much. But the tank top, yes. We are clearly soul mates.

12. Catherine Keener I don’t know what to say about Catherine. She looks like someone you could actually know, but of course if you actually knew her, people would always be saying to you, “Why is your friend Catherine so hot?”

11. Nicole Ari Parker She played a lawyer in Brown Sugar and on Soul Food and that is the second surest way to my heart. And before she was ever a lawyer she was lesbian in The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love so it’s not hard to figure out why I love her.

10. Mary-Louise Parker Do I really need to explain? Is Weeds not the most genius sitcom since The Mary Tyler Moore Show? And is Mary-Louise Parker not the most genius combination of adorable and hot? She has this way of seeming totally together even as she’s falling apart. I never know whether to hug her or applaud her.

9. Kate Walsh She was a lesbian in Under the Tuscan Sun, but it wasn’t until Dr. Addison Montgomery’s glasses that I fell in love. There is no breaking us up now.

8. Martina McBride She doesn’t write her own songs and she doesn’t play the guitar, but she has these amazing blue eyes and she’s very, very pretty. I don’t write run-on sentences for just anyone, you know. Oh, and her voice is to singing what champagne is to drinking.

7. Rose Rollins She totally took me by surprise last season on The L Word. She is the most recent crush on this list. Some of these women have been in my head for a long time. (You know who you are, #5.) I think Rose will be spending a lot of time in my head now that’s she’s here.

6. Sheryl Crow Girls with guitars are hot. That’s it. She writes her own songs and she sings them and she plays the guitar and the whole thing rocks, rocks, rocks.

5. Kim Delaney My first girl crush. I have loved her for so long that I can no longer remember why exactly. There is something about the crookedness of her grin. She kind of just lets her teeth hang out like she has no idea that she’s hot. And I just want to point out that when I did a Google image search for this one, I had to look at a lot of mug shots. That’s love.

4. Jane Fonda No one else is Jane Fonda. Sometimes I wonder if Jane Fonda is really even Jane Fonda. I am amazed by her talent and impressed by her grace. She is an icon who deserves her iconic status.

3. Tina Fey Um, duh. I so enjoy that I am living in a world where young girls can say, “I want to be Tina Fey when I grow up.” When dorky met hot, Tina Fey was born, and the world rejoiced.

2. Alex Hedison She’s kind of obscure and I kind of love that. She’s tall, gorgeous, and gay. She’s also a photographer, which has always been a turn-on for me. P.S. I don’t mean to drudge up old pain with this photo, but I just love the look on her face.

1. Jennifer Beals What can I say that I haven’t already said a zillion times? She is the whole package: smart, stunning, kind, liberal… I mean, she has a BA in American literature from Yale, and she looks like this.