I went to a free yoga day on Saturday. While the hippiness of yoga has always appealed to me, the exercise aspect has not. I am not a person who moves when she doesn’t have to. Sachen and I have that in common.
I know a lot of yoga people (and I think Alice on The L Word went to yoga once) so I knew basically what to expect when I went to yoga on Saturday. It was a quiet affair and the atmosphere was decidedly non-aerobic, which was refreshing. I sat on a mat and did various stretches for various amounts of time, none of which were too long. That’s the thing I always hated about phys ed. The running and the stretching and the ball-playing just went on too long. Yoga was not like that.
When it was over, I felt good. I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about my physical well-being, but I definitely noticed a difference when I left yoga. It wasn’t just physical, though. There was a mental calmness that I’m not used to, especially lately. For an entire hour on Saturday morning, I was awakeâ€”really awakeâ€”and not thinking about anything. A blank mind is a wondrous thing.
For awhile now, I’ve been struggling with Ava’s personality because I want it to be clear and understandable what Hillary is attracted to. I think yoga might be the key. I’m still working it out, but it’s something about inner calm and mind/body connection. If she spends an hour every day, or even just a couple times a week, engaged in the kind of concentrated focus on the way the body responds to movement that yoga entails, she is going to radiate an energy (to use one of yoga’s buzzwords) that is foreign to Hillary. Hillary’s mind doesn’t stop. I understand Hillary. I’m not like Hillary, although I am more like Hillary than I am like Ava, and I can understand her because I’ve with her longer. Hillary is my way into the story; Ava is what I see when I get there.
I think I will probably go back to yogaâ€”if not for myself, then for Hillary and Ava, but probably for myself. The truth is that if I didn’t want to be more like Ava, I would not have chosen Ava for Hillary.