“Remember when I was so strange and likable”

Yesterday marked the second anniversary of my blog. This experience has been more than I ever imagined it could be. The first post isn’t anything to blog home about, and perhaps none of the others are either.

This thing isn’t really about quality.

Last week, as I was working on my Joan Didion paper, I reread “On Keeping a Notebook,” which I quote in one of my About Me pages. This essay is perhaps my favorite essay in the entire world, and it definitely continues to inform my opinions about blogging. Didion says the purpose of her notebook is “to keep on nodding terms” with the people she used to be. She also articulates it as “how it felt to be me: that is getting closer to the reason for keeping a notebook.” It has only been two years, but I can already find different versions of myself here. When I look back through the archives, I try to remember what I was thinking about and what I was feeling when I wrote a certain post, and sometimes I don’t remember. That post is all I have of that person I used to be.

I am surprised that I have stuck with this for so long, since like Didion I have never been able to keep a proper diary. I don’t know if the publicness of the blog helps or if my increasing lack of parameters is what is making this easier for me. Diaries have rules and I was never interested in myself enough to sustain a diary for longer than a month or so. This blog thing is working, though, if as nothing more than a way for me to organize my thoughts and work out my positions. It’s a safe space for my writing and my readers (plural!) are so awesome.