The River of (My) Dreams

Folks, I had two dreams last night that were so random and so distinct from each other that I must share them with you. Tell me what you think this means.

Dream 1: I’m interviewing applicants to be my driver. (I never saw my car but I am assuming I didn’t expect someone to drive me around in my Corrolla with the peeling paint.) One of the applicants is Karen Black, whom you all surely recall played Myrtle Wilson in the film adaptation of The Great Gatsby in 1974. Needless to say, when I got up, I immediately looked up Karen Black on imdb.com and discovered that she is neither dead nor retired. So there is really no reason she would need to be my driver. There was, incidentally, nothing in the dream that explained why I even needed a driver in the first place.

Dream 2: Yvonne and Jonathan have apparently given Madeline to Portia and Ellen. That is all the information I have about the transaction. I don’t know if Yvonne and Jonathan were dead or if Portia and Ellen paid them an inordinate amount of money for Madeline. I’m officially going with the former explanation because I just can’t imagine why they would sell Madeline.

So I’m driving (in my actual car) Portia home (who knew we were so close?) and she is holding Madeline on her lap (a bad idea, I know—I’m sure the real Portia would never do this). We’re chatting and laughing and talking about how cute Madeline is and I’m starting to think Portia is probably all right. (I bite my tongue and do not mention how she stole Ellen from my girlfriend Alex Hedison and broke her heart.)

When we arrive at Portia and Ellen’s house (which is of course in Kirkwood Park, where my parents live), Portia takes the baby, jumps out of the car, and runs around the garage to the back of the house. I’m all, “That was rude” until I realize that there are paparazzi camped all over the lawn. Portia was just protecting Madeline. I don’t know what to do so I just sit in my car in the driveway for awhile. Then Andy comes out of the house. What was he doing in there? He pushes through the paparazzi and gets in the car. Dream over.