Two iPhone family

Andy got me an iPhone for Christmas. I got him an electric razor. That is what marriage is all about.

The iPhone is more magical than I even imagined. It knows what I want before I do, the way an ideal lover does. Now that I think of it, it appears that Andy got me a spouse-supplement for Christmas. It picks up his slack, not that there’s much to pick up. I always thought it would be creepy to have a partner who knows you better than you know yourself, but with a phone, it’s all right.

To compare my iPhone to my previous phone would be comical, yes, but useless. My old phone was made to be the cheapest, simplest kind of phone, and Apple does not intend for the iPhone to be either.

It feels misleading to call it a phone. For one thing, we all know that as a phone, it kind of sucks. As a text messager, though, it is unparalleled. The user needs some work, but the machine is perfect. It arranges the texts in conversation threads instead of chronologically, and the visual experience is more like an IM chat than anything that happens on a cell phone. Here’s an example:


But let’s talk about that user for a moment. Folks, it is quite possible that the iPhone is too fancy for me. Those text message threads I was just showing you? I can’t keep them straight and I have more than once sent a text to the wrong recipient with results on a sliding scale of embarrassment.

Also, I’ve had the phone for over three weeks, and I’ve downloaded two apps. Andy got me the NPR app, a Tetris app, and of course Tweetie so I can tweet from wherever I am, but on my own, I have downloaded apps for MSNBC and the Internet Movie Database. I have been meaning to get a dictionary app and obviously I’ll be needing the Constitution, but I’m not nearly as into the app game as Mr. Seven Pages of Apps (also known as my husband).

And the truth is that I wouldn’t love my iPhone any less if it didn’t have an iPod feature. I put just my essentials on there—Billy Joel, the Indigo Girls, Mary Chapin Carpenter, and Kris Kristofferson—but my little iPod nano remains my main music player.

I’m not saying I don’t love my iPhone. I like that I can get to the internet almost any time I want, and despite my missteps, the improved text messaging experience is my favorite part of the phone. Well, that and Tweetie. I really love how easily I can snap a photo and post it to Twitter. I’m sure my followers appreciate how much more accessible I am now that my phone can support my every Twitter impulse, especially since I’ve been sick pretty much ever since I got my iPhone and my Twitter account has basically devolved into a whine pulpit.

And, yes, I have a purple case.