What if it takes over my life? What if that’s okay with me?

This is a post about how I am not a real lesbian. I discovered this last night while watching “The L Word.” Bette was in the shower, which should be interesting to me, but all I could think was “What is she going to put on when she’s done in the shower?” I like her clothed better than naked.

Right now, I am watching the fifth episode of season 1, in which Tina discovers she is pregnant. Tina and Alice have this hilarious conversation about home pregnancy tests and how unrealistic the pictures on the box are. Tina wants a shot of some poor sobbing woman holding a negative test and Alice wants a teenager with a positive test who is ready to hang herself. Very amusing stuff. Here’s what I don’t get. The test is essentially a stick covered in urine. And Alice picks it up, holds it in her hand. Ew, right? I love my friends, but I don’t see myself ever wanting to hold in my hand their nasty pregnancy tests. Sorry. Then Tina puts the test on Bette’s plate at dinner. A plate she is then expected to eat off of! Ew, ew, ew.

In other news, I am beginning to wonder if I will ever be capable of non-“The L Word” thoughts ever again. It is becoming apparent that I need to take those classes with Mary Ann in the fall so I must figure out how to do that. I was going through some old notebooks today, and I suppose I was getting nostalgic, remembering going to class and writing papers. I’m still writing, but I’m having trouble thinking of it as work, giving it the priority it deserves.

I also need a new job because I will need to be able to afford Showtime in January. It’s all about “The L Word.”